I decided to go left when everyone went right. I decided to choose me over everyone else…but in order to do this I needed to know how to forgive. Also, I truly needed to understand what forgiveness was. I realized forgiveness is easy but forgetting is hard. There are so many things I must forgive myself for before I can move on. The moment I began to forgive was the moment I realized how much I had been carrying on my back while the person I couldn’t forgive had moved on. Learning to move on and let go is strictly about you…take back your power and forgive all the people who hurt you and allow yourself the power and space to forgive those who you have hurt as well.
I knew that being a mentor would be difficult, nothing worth doing is never easy but I didn’t realize that what I needed was to always understand who I am. I can’t constantly try to fix people when I have yet to understand what needs to be fixed about myself. The moment I wrote that I really understood that all the changing was not about changing who I am but actually refining and defining who I am. Sometimes that is what is difficult…we constantly talk about how we need to change instead of thinking about how to make the narrative better. I remember sitting up and thinking about how I kept doing the same thing over, I kept making the same mistakes over and over again…and I kept making the same mistakes over and over again because I was so busy talking about changing that I never decided to just make myself better. The more mistakes I make the more I realize I was making the mistakes not anyone else. Learning to accept your own mistakes is much more intense than admitting them to another. Working on yourself is the most important thing you can do because if you don’t everybody else will work on you.